Third Step of Getting Closer to God: Don’t Go It Alone.
This is part three of the four-part series on getting closer to God. Part one was about prayer being of primary importance in a relationship with Him. Part two covered learning God’s Word, which is vital to understanding what God says to you. This part is about the necessity of having men or women of God in your life to help you in your walk.
Praying and studying are necessary to develop a close relationship with God, but doing it on your own can have catastrophic eternal consequences.
Hazards of Going It Alone
When I went to Africa, at first there were other Americans in training with me, but when I arrived at my service site, I was alone. And that almost killed me.
The Peace Corps had prepared me for survival in-country, so I embraced the knowledge my training had given me. But no training could have prepared me for the isolation and loneliness I would face during the first few months.
On my arrival, I met no one except a messenger boy who gave me the key to my bungalow. He showed me the sparsely furnished rooms in my house, pointing out the lizards clinging to the walls, and showed me the empty 50-gallon barrel, freshly tarred to help it hold water better.
I immediately set about organizing the things I had brought — my kerosene stove, basic cooking utensils, and my medical kit, which contained a diagnostic manual — something I believed I’d never need. Then I started to explore the large village I would serve. Things were going well; I was becoming oriented and feeling good about starting work. But then I got sick.
It was only a week before I started getting cyclic fevers. They began every afternoon and were gone by dawn. At first, the fevers were low, barely into the 100s, but by the end of the week they reached 105 degrees. As their severity progressed, I started to read my diagnostic manual, the epitome of the Peace Corps’ self-sufficiency mindset. It had a diagnostic tree presenting a list of symptoms and pages to turn to for each, which spelled out treatments. The tree led me to graphs for diagnosing the disease based on fever intensity and pattern. I picked the graph that best matched mine. There was only one disease with that pattern: malaria.
There are times when I can be inflexible in my thinking — especially when I’m lonely, sick, tired, and hungry. And I was all four.
Because I was taking chloroquine, an anti-malarial, as a prophylactic — another component of the self-help medical kit — I convinced my stubborn, prideful, and isolated self that malaria couldn’t be the disease. “How could it be malaria?” I deliriously thought. “I was taking the drugs to prevent it!” I went over all the fever charts again and again. Each night the fevers got worse until the last night, when my headache was so bad I couldn’t see. Explosions went off in my head with each heartbeat. I knew I was going to die, and I had to do something. So, in desperation, I picked a random bottle of medication out of the kit and, in excruciating pain, read the label. It was Chloroquine Phosphate. I took the curative dose, and within one hour my fever broke, and the disease left me — never to return.
This is what scared me the most: I was so convinced by my own reasoning, I almost died. If I had waited one more hour, I wouldn’t be here writing this message. My loneliness and pain hardened my heart. However, if there had been a healthy, reasonable person with me — someone trustworthy — they would have clearly seen the evidence and pointed out my error. They would have advised me to take the chloroquine earlier.
In our Christian walk, we also face the danger of making bad decisions if we don’t have anyone we can trust to help us. Even if those decisions don’t involve life or death, they certainly will have serious salvation ramifications.
Five Reasons Christians Need Others
Isolation makes us vulnerable to deception. When a Christian walks alone, it’s easy to start believing our own interpretations, emotions, or impulses are really God’s voice. Without wise counsel or correction, we can drift into error.
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV)
Even sincere believers can mistake their feelings for the Holy Spirit’s leading. Other Christians help us test and confirm what is truly from God.Lone believers lose the strength of shared faith. A Christian life was never meant to happen in isolation. The early church “continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship” (Acts 2:42). Being around other Christians strengthens our faith.
“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” — Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV)
When you’re alone, discouragement can extinguish your zeal; fellowship rekindles it.Accountability disappears — and temptation grows'. We are all prone to weakness. Having no one to walk beside us makes it easier to compromise, justify sin, or hide struggles. Accountability isn’t about judgment; it’s about protection.
“Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NKJV)
Without brothers and sisters to lift us up, a single stumble can become a lasting fall.Pride can creep in unnoticed. Going it alone often feels “strong” or “independent,” but it can be spiritual pride — the belief that we don’t need others. Jesus Himself lived in relationship — with His disciples.
“Surely He scorns the scornful, But gives grace to the humble.” — James 4:6 (NKJV)Humility means recognizing our dependence on both God and His people.
Growth slows or stops. We grow spiritually through teaching, correction, encouragement, and service — all of which happen in relationship. A solitary Christian may have private devotion but miss out on the refining, equipping, and maturing that come through the body of Christ.
“From whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies… causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.” — Ephesians 4:16 (NKJV)
In Summary
Following Jesus is not a solo journey. It’s a walk of discipleship, fellowship, and community. The hazards of going it alone include deception, discouragement, temptation, pride, and stagnation. The antidote is connection — to Christ through prayer and Scripture, and to His people through church, mentorship, and service.
